"Lighting Artist" Sounds So Fancy
“I can’t even picture you in an office.”
I guess I should put that quote into some context. That sentence was messaged to me by a friend whom was used to seeing me running around a sound stage or production location, rigging up lights, or operating a camera. When she asked what I have been up to, I told her I was working at a video game company. I'm a lighting artist! Life is strange like that, but let me preface how I got here. Two years have passed since I left the desert after spending all my savings and loans on a short film. I even cashed out an old life insurance bond my mom started for me when I was a wee lil nugget. The false security of the Grad School bubble had burst and I was desperate for a steady income to re-stabilize. Anything.
I was definitely at a low point. The short film I made wasn’t meeting my expectations in the edit room and I felt like I failed. It was in this mind frame of failure that I also ended a three year relationship. I needed to reset everything. Feeling slightly lost and unsure of my future, I followed a lead for a cinematic artist position at Telltale Games. Of course, I later learned the recommendation was motivated by a cash incentive by the company - which makes me wonder if I would have ever gotten that call if there was no cash reward? Anyways, I packed all my belongings into a moving truck and drove back to the Bay Area to humbly accept an incredibly low salary for an entry level position in the video game industry.
I came at a tumultuous time for Telltale Games. The company had turned into something of a factory that churned out games with a familiar game play style that was almost cut and pasted to every game they made. In any case, I quickly learned the software and philosophies to making their games and was put on the cinematic factory line, making something more akin to interactive cutscenes than games, and often under indecisive direction with ever changing scripts. I didn’t get the sense of any clear vision for the games and the creative direction I received was ambiguous and often felt inexperienced.
After 6 months, I was ready to throw in the towel for what appeared to be a shit show. A lot has been written in the video game press about that period of time, so you can easily find more information about that work environment with a simple Google search. With that said, and despite being in an emotional low, my pride finally empowered me to accept that I can do better. So I put in my two weeks and was ready to start freelancing in the corporate/documentary media industries. However, that’s when a new opportunity presented itself. I was countered with a position as a lighting artist given my experience as a cinematographer and gaffer “in the real world.” The offer appealed to me. I would be off of the assembly line, have more creative control, and be given a pay increase (which was a blessing given how expensive it was to live in the Bay Area). The aspect about the position that excited me most was that I would get to explore, and practice, various lighting techniques in virtual environments. Given the fantastical settings of video games, I’d be lighting set pieces, and characters, that I would never get to light “in the real world.” So with the small bump in salary, I accepted and started lighting video games.
And that’s how I’ve been paying the bills for the past two years. In the meantime, I’ve been studying lighting and cinematography like never before. Testing ideas and exploring various styles that I've acquired on real life production sets. I was given lead, and ownership, for creating light rigs for character models that followed common practices in the real world. I also grew more confident lighting environments and finding ways of using color and light to add texture and contrast to create more depth and dynamic spaces. The best compliment I think I ever received was completely non-verbal, but it was discovering a co-worker had taken a screenshot of my work and was using it as their desktop wallpaper - something that a computer user has to look at every day.
I feel myself finally coming out of my professional and personal low. After a lot of additional work, my short film is looking great and I’m excited to finally show it off. Furthermore, my health issues have been identified and I no longer take blood pressure medication, which caused a whole slew of other side affects and negative situations. I can finally look at the future with some excitement and ambition. While I can feel my time as a lighting artist will be coming to an end shortly, I am glad for the opportunity and how much it has strengthened me as an artist. Telltale seems to have it’s shit on track with some new leadership. There is a fun energy in the building and people feel optimistic. I’m sure the studio will do some fun and entertaining things in the near future. As for me? I’m ready to jump back into production and creative leadership - wherever that takes me next...even if it’s still in an office.
